We can often forget that the entities we’re working with have a cultural and societal norm that is vastly different than our own. In the area I’m in, we have strong Victorian and Edwardian influences. Even in the areas of what would be called the Wild West, there were still norms that were followed that are alien to us, just as our cultural norms are alien to beings of those time periods.
I’ve found that some of the women I know in particular can have difficulty with some of these beings. I was in one location where a friend of mine was elbowed in the ribs so hard by an invisible elbow that they were sore for 3 days. Another friend has been called names and another poked with a parasol by unseen people. On the other hand, I’ve gotten along very well with these entities. And except for one, they all seem to like me. The one with the parasol didn’t like me because I was telling her real story!
Well, these situations all have a couple things in common. The entities were both male and female, but all were from a mid to late Victorian period, into the Edwardian. This was a time when women did not speak out independently, when people dressed very conservatively, and the man of the house was seen to be the master of the house.
These friends of mine are amazing people. They are strong, independent women, have their own bank accounts and jobs, dress in shorts and think for themselves. They aren’t subservient to anyone. And there lies the issues the “ghosts” have with them. They are not the Victorian lady, and don’t fit the norms of the time these beings were walking the earth in their physical bodies. They are scandalous even to the ladies of ill repute, who contrary to the image given in westerns, were very conservatively dressed in the latest styles. The plunging necklines of the movies were not a reality!
Another major factor I’ve noticed is that frequently, we get what we ask for, in a sense, with paranormal entities. If we go into a location geared up for battle, or expecting some negative activity, we are much more likely to find it! If we go in judging or thinking we know it all and what the entities need, there’s a much greater possibility that they will react defensively, or aggressively. If we go in expecting to be attacked, we have opened the door and invited the attack! If we go in expecting evil, we are more likely to experience behavior that can be seen as evil.
I go in with a sense of openness and interest in the entities for who they are. I’m not there to judge, or criticize. I don’t tell them that they were bad people or that they are evil. I go in as an equal. I don’t give them greater power then I have. I keep control of myself, and expect them to not cross boundaries, and they don’t. We develop a sense of mutual respect and often liking.
Some of the entities I’m very fond of and have a very good relationship with would have probably killed me if I had run into them in a dark alley at the time they were alive. They did what they could at the time and for their incarnation. Now, we joke with each other. They know they can’t hurt me and have no desire to. We chat, they drop in for a visit and we joke around. We accept and respect each other for who we are. As it is in all relationships, mutual respect is a key element to successful interaction.